Gay Men have unique and special gifts! Learn how to use these 14 distinct and different gay male gifts to change your world and thrive!

Welcome to Celebrating Gay Manhood, a unique opportunity to celebrate the past, the present AND embrace what is next for gay men and all LGBT people – claiming and stepping into the special social roles we play! The Celebrating Gay Manhood Workshop is based on Raymond Rigoglioso’s insightful and liberating book, Gay Men and The New Way Forward, and uses the 14 Distinct Gay Male Gifts as a guide!

  • With Gay Pride, we came out and honored our sexuality! Celebrating Gay Manhood invites you to recognize the many ways you are different as a gay man – beyond your sexuality – and embrace the gifts that those differences present to the world!
  • In this 2-day weekend workshop, you will discover how you embody Sustainable Manhood – a balanced form of manhood that all men will need to adopt if human beings are to survive on the planet.
Celebrating Gay Manhood with Ray Rigoglioso of Gay Men of Wisdom! June 28-30 at Frog Meadow, The Northeast's Premier All Male Gay Resort and Retreat Center in Southern Vermont

Gay men serve an evolutionary purpose on the planet! Our attributes and ways of being are gifts we bring to the world and some of our most important contributions. We envision a time in which the role of the gay man is honored and respected in every culture on the globe! 

You will discover and explore:

  • Your Masculine-Feminine Intelligence: This gift speaks to how gay men possess masculine and feminine energies in balance, and how we effortlessly invoke each energy as the need arises. You’ll learn how you master the entire range of human expression.
  • Your Different Social Orientation: This gift speaks to the sensitive, peaceful, empathetic, and cooperative nature of so many gay men. You’ll explore how this gift gives you a greater openness to difference, more collaborative ways of expressing power, and a tendency to treat others as equals.
  • How You Embody the Authentic Masculine: Sustainable Manhood rests upon the authentic masculine—those beneficial and socially necessary traits of the masculine energy. You’ll explore how you express these traits and the impact they enable you to make.

The program will include discussions, written exercises, conversations in small groups and pairs, and powerful experiences including:

  • A ritual that will help you release the messages, fears, and threats you have taken on from men.
  • A guided visualization that will lead you to a deeper understanding of your valued form of manhood.
  • A meditation with energizing breathing that will give you a body-centered understanding of your Distinct Gay Male Gifts.
  • A closing circle that honors each man.

Celebrating Gay Manhood with Ray Rigoglioso! June 28-30 at Frog Meadow, The Northeast's Premier All Male Gay Resort and Retreat Center in Southern Vermont

What can you expect? By participating in Celebrating Gay Manhood, you will:

  • The program incorporates several empowering and centering rituals including visualizations and meditations that will help you release the messages, fears, and threats you have taken on from men!

    Develop new self-respect for how you embody manhood

  • Understand how you are a full equal to – and teacher for – other men
  • Gain confidence around other men
  • Free yourself from limited ideas about what it means to be a man
  • Discover how the things that make you unique as a gay man are strengths

This workshop is suitable for you if: 

  • You want to understand and be able to articulate the differences you have always felt inside as a gay man.
  • You want to discover how your differences enable you to make a positive impact in the world.
  • You are ready to explore the important social functions you play because you are a gay man.
  • You are ready to take the next step in gay consciousness.

Upon registration for this Workshop you’ll receive for advance familiarization and preparation the following:

  • Celebrating Gay Manhood with Ray Rigoglioso: Gay Men and the New Way Forward! June 28-30 at Frog Meadow, The Northeast's Premier All Male Gay Resort and Retreat Center in Southern Vermont

    Upon registration you’ll receive Ray Rigoglioso’s book, an invitation to self-discovery ‘Gay Men and The New Way Forward’ so you can prepare yourself for the workshop, increase your experiences during the workshop and implement what you have learned in everyday life!

    Ray Rigoglioso’s book Gay Men and The New Way Forward. While it is not required, we invite you to read the book in advance of the Workshop. This will provide you with you a foundational understanding of the 14 Distinct Gay Male Gifts and prepare you to explore how they apply to you. Written as an invitation to self-discovery, the book includes a self-assessment of the 14 Gifts so you can see where you fit into this story! By taking the time to familiarize yourself with the concepts behind Gay Men and The New Way Forward you’ll have a richer experience during the workshop and be in an optimal place to integrate and implement what you have learned in your everyday life!

Open to All: Singles & Couples!

The unique format of this 2-day special residential retreat will allow plenty of time for you to learn, to share, to relax and connect with other participants in a comfortable, supportive and safe environment. You’ll live, share meals, and learn communally with others as an intimate tribe of like-minded men and have the opportunity to bond quickly through a variety of activities and rituals – fully immersed in Frog Meadow’s natural setting. The program portions of the weekend workshop will be clothed and you’ll have the option for clothing-optional relaxation at other times.

“We are super-psyched to have Ray on our Faculty of Workshop Facilitators and to bring his  ‘Celebrating Gay Manhood” Workshop to Frog Meadow for the second time…please join us!

About the Retreat Facilitator

Ray Rigoglioso Frog Meadow, The Northeast's Premier All Male Gay Resort and Retreat Center in Southern Vermont

Workshop facilitator Ray Rigoglioso

Ray Rigoglioso is the author of Gay Men and The New Way Forward, a book that synthesizes and expands the literature on gay men’s nature and purpose. In it, he identifies gay men’s 14 distinct gifts to humanity. Ray founded and leads Gay Men of Wisdom, a nonprofit organization that helps gay men identify and discover their distinct gifts and express them for social good. Gay Men of Wisdom offers Celebrating Gay Manhood, the weekend program, and five-month Living Out Your Gifts groups in multiple cities and online.

In 1989, two months after he came out, he co-founded and led the Danbury (Connecticut) Area Gay and Lesbian Youth Group. After he graduated from the New School for Social Research in 1991, he joined the staff of Gay Men’s Health Crisis. He participated in and was deeply influenced by ACT UP.

Ray is also a fundraising consultant to nonprofit organizations where he brings an extensive background in grant writing and communications to his work. His clients have included the AIDS Support Group of Cape Cod, New York City Mission Society, The Good Dog Foundation, Gilda’s Club Worldwide, and Immigration Equality. A former life coach, Ray received his training through Coach University.

Ray recently moved from Provincetown, Massachusetts to Philmont, New York with his husband Robert Birch. He and Rob – who was Mr. New England Leather 2018 – are enjoying life in beautiful Columbia County. He can be reached at ray@gaymenofwisdom.org

Learn More about Celebrating Gay Manhood!

About The Workshop/Retreat Setting at Frog Meadow:

  • The Setting: The unique and magical setting of Frog Meadow’s 63-acres enhances your workshop and retreat experience. It is a sanctuary where men celebrate, transform and integrate body and mind and spirit.
  • Lodging: Our five unique rooms and suites provide comfortable accommodations for single men and couples. To simplify room selection, we typically assign single guys a spot in the Deluxe Barn Suite which sleeps 4 comfortably and offer other lodging options as available. We offer a simple and all-inclusive flat-rate pricing for most workshops that includes programs fees, lodging and meals. As a result, workshop/retreat program pricing is not dependent on room selection.
  • Meals: Much of the food we serve comes from our gardens or is locally- sourced. Eggs, bread, yogurt, cheese, apple cider and many other items served at Frog Meadow are produced onsite or provided by local farms. During your workshop/retreat stay with us, meals are served family-style. Evening meals are prepared by Frog Meadow’s New England Culinary Institute-trained chef and include braised chicken quarters w/ lemon vinaigrette & herbs, mushroom polenta; grilled beef w/ red wine mushroom sauce, seasonal veggies, quinoa pilaf; bouillabaisse w/ seasonal fish; thai pho noodle soup w/ chicken & vegetables. Please let us know at time of registration if you have any special dietary requirements (e.g. vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.) and we will do our best to accommodate you.
  • Workshop/Retreat Space: Workshops and retreats are held in a large, private, high-ceiling space we call the “Retreat Dojo” on the Frog Meadow property, within steps of the main house.

The $685 tuition for the ‘Celebrating Gay Manhood’ Workshop
is all-inclusive and comprises all program fees, materials & activities,
2 night’s lodging, home-cooked “from-scratch” meals (2 breakfasts, 2 lunches & 1 dinner),
exclusive use of the property & amenities at Frog Meadow.
See “Retreat Rates & Registration” &
“Important Information” below for full details!

Registration Rates & Amenities: $685 per-person, double occupancy (two per bed),  plus $50.40 VT rooms & meals tax, and includes program tuition and activities, lodging and dinners Friday through Sunday, breakfast & lunch Saturday through Sunday, as well as exclusive use of the amenities at Frog Meadow including 63-acre four-season recreation trail network, gym & wood-fired hot tub.

To register for ‘Celebrating Gay Manhood’ please contact us by phone (802.365.7242) or book online using our website’s availability calendar, select the dates of January 31 & February 1 and the workshop will appear as a booking option. Select the appropriate option (booking for one or two persons) and you will be guided through the booking process.

Choose from five different room options: Room allocation will be made in the order of registration (first come, first-served), so be sure to register early to request your room preference. We will make every effort to accommodate your room request however we may need to re-assign rooms to accommodate couples or those traveling together. If this becomes necessary, we will contact you prior to your arrival. Click here for specific room descriptions, amenities and images

Room Options Occupancy Bed / Bath Status
Frog Meadow Suite Double King / Private Available!
Deluxe Barn Suite Quad 2 Queen / Private Available!
North Room Double King / Shared Available!
South Room Double King / Shared Available!
Brook Cottage Double Queen / Shared Available!
Bee Cottage Double Queen / Shared Available!

Retreat Start/End Times

  • Friday January 31: Arrive after 4PM, Welcome Reception & Opening Circle begin at 7.30PM.
  • Sunday February 2: Closing Circle & Lunch conclude at 2PM

Two ways to register for the Celebrating Gay Manhood Workshop:

  1. Book by Phone: Refer to the table above for room amenities and availability. Call 877.365.7242 and we will gladly book your reservation by phone and answer any questions you may have.
  2. Book Online: Refer to the table above for room availability and amenities. Using our Online Availability Calendar, select the available room of your choice for the nights of January 31-February 1. You will then be guided through the registration process for the program. Choose from and select the appropriate package for either one or two persons.

Important Information:


  1. The ‘Celebrating Gay Manhood’ Workshop is open to single men and couples seeking to re-connect with themselves, discover thier unique gifts as gay men and connect with other men in new ways.
  2. At the time of your registration, your credit/debit card (mastercard or visa) will be charged $367.70 (50% of the Total Program Rate plus VT tax); the remaining balance will be charged to the card six weeks prior to the scheduled retreat date.
  3. Rates are per-person, double occupancy (2 per room/bed except for Deluxe Barn Suite which is Quad occupancy). Single participants will be paired up with other singles on a first come, first served basis, based on room availability.
  4. Enrollment is limited to 12 participants and room allocation will be made in the order of registration (first come, first-served), so be sure to register early to ensure your room preference. We will make every effort to accommodate your room request however we may need to re-assign rooms to accommodate couples or those traveling together. If this becomes necessary, we will contact you prior to your arrival. Click here for specific room descriptions, amenities and images.
  5. Single Supplement: A single occupancy option may be available in the Brook Cottage or Bee Cottage for $1,100 for those who snore or would prefer not to share a bed/room. Please call for details.
  6. Please let us know at time of registration if you have any special dietary requirements (e.g. vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.) We do our best to accommodate food allergies, food sensitivities and vegetarians, but generally cannot 100% accommodate paleo/keto, etc requests.
  7. Frog Meadow does not have a liquor license. Please feel free to bring an adult beverage of your choice to enjoy with your evening meal, or we will coordinate pickup nearby on your behalf.
  8. The workshop facilitator is not a psychotherapist and this workshop is not intended as psychotherapy or as a replacement for therapy.
  9. With the completion of your registration, your participation in the Celebrating Gay Manhood Workshop program is bound according to Frog Meadow’s Terms & Conditions of Participation.
  10. Supplemental Lodging & Massages: Please consider booking additional lodging nights following the workshop to maximally decompress and integrate what you have learned afterwards, to schedule a massage, and to fully experience Frog Meadow’s restorative tranquility.
  11. Waiting List: In the event of a cancellation, we will keep a waiting list prioritized in a first-come, first-served basis and will contact you should a participant need to cancel.
  12. Cancellations: For cancellations more than six weeks prior to the retreat, all fees will be refunded, less a 15% of total program fee administration charge. For cancellations after that time, no fees will be refunded unless a replacement participant is found (and will be subject to a 15% administration charge).

Travelling to Frog Meadow

  • Frog Meadow is located off Interstate 91 in southeast Vermont, approximately 10 miles north of Brattleboro, VT. At the time of your registration we will provide detailed directions.
  • We are approximately 2.5 hours from Boston and 4 hours from New York City.
  • The closest airports are Hartford (Bradley) and Boston (Logan).
  • There is daily Amtrak train service to nearby Brattleboro from NYC Penn Station, Newark NY, Philadelphia and Washington DC. If you arrive via Amtrak we will gladly coordinate your transfers to/from Frog Meadow.  


Q and A with Ray Rigoglioso and Gay Men of Wisdom:

Q: For how long have you been offering Gay Men of Wisdom Programs?

A: Since 2012, so for nine years.

Q: How many have participated in your Gay Men of Wisdom Programs?

A: At this point, I’d say at least 1,000 men have participated—between workshops, book readings, and sessions by other trained Gay Men of Wisdom facilitators.

Q: Is this a clothing-optional Workshop?

A: The program portions of the weekend workshop will be clothed and you’ll have the option for clothing-optional relaxation at other times.

Q: Where did you learn and develop the concepts, insights techniques that have evolved into the Gay Men of Wisdom Programs?

A: I got fired up by Will Fellows’ book, A Passion to Preserve: Gay Men as Keepers of Culture. That started me on this journey to understand gay men’s nature and purpose. I discovered a whole literature on the topic. Mark Thompson, Harry Hay, and Toby Johnson figure among the many writers and thinkers who inspired me. Toby and Will became friends of mine and edited by book. I paired my training as a coach, along with my skills creating and running workshops – which I had done for years – with the ideas I found in this literature. Gay Men of Wisdom helps gay men discover how the ideas from the great gay thinkers – which I hope I have expanded and deepened – apply to them.

Q: Aren’t gay men just like everyone else? Aren’t you playing into stereotypes of gay men?

A: Most human beings are much more alike than they are different. But differences can be observed among all major cultural, ethnic, and racial groups. To the extent that all people are alike, gay men are just like everyone else. To the extent that groups contain distinct characteristics, gay men possess essential differences from other men. Stereotyping involves making a blanket generalization along with a negative judgment. In this book, we explore the range of gay men’s differences from a perspective of honoring those differences.

Q: What are the 14 Distinct Gay Male Gifts?

A: The foundational gift is Masculine-Feminine Intelligence, which shows up in nearly every other distinct gift. The 13 other gifts are divided into three categories as follows:

  • Serving and Healing: A Gentle Collaborative Social Orientation; An Orientation toward Service; Religious Reformers and Spiritual Leaders; Teachers of Compassion, Generosity, and the Authentic Masculine; Models of Forgiveness.
  • Reinventing Manhood: Friends, Soul Mates, and Co-Revolutionaries with Straight Women; Esthetic Outsiders and Gender Tricksters: The Art of Camp and Drag; Modeling Sustainable Manhood.
  • Freeing and Enriching the Human Spirit: Sexual Leadership; Fine Attunement to Beauty, Creators and Keepers of Culture; A “Gay” Spirit; Models of Authenticity and Courage, Cleansers of Shame; Outsiders Driving Evolutionary Advancement

Q: Do all gay men possess these gifts?

A: Each gay man will possess his own unique constellation of these gifts. Many gay men will recognize all of these gifts within themselves, though they may manifest some gifts more strongly than others. Most gay men will see at least a solid majority of these gifts within themselves, though some gay men may possess just a few. Every human group contains variations, but that does not mean we cannot observe distinct characteristics of a given group.

Whenever I gather gay men to discuss what makes us different, these gifts surface again and again. What’s unique about this approach is that we are creating a self-generated narrative about traits that characterize us as a group. This model presents an entirely new way of valuing the contributions that all humans make to society.

Because of these inherent variations, Gay Men and The New Way Forward is written as an invitation to self-discovery. It invites the reader to ask himself which gifts pertain to him, and to what extent he embodies these gifts. It contains a self-assessment at the end to foster this self-discovery.

Q: Are you suggesting that gay men are better than others?

A: In answer to this question, I would ask: Is a tulip better than a rose? Is a mother better than a father? Is an athlete better than a musician? In patriarchy, we tend to assume that when two things are different, one is better and the other worse, one dominant and the other subordinate. This kind of thinking has created many of the world’s problems. It pits one against the other and prevents us from appreciating difference. This book, and the approach it takes, presents a New Way Forward. It invites us to embrace the paradox of having special gifts while being equal to all others.

Q: Do other men have some of these same gifts?

A: I would ask – and defer to – other men to answer this question. With that said, I think some heterosexual and bisexual men possess some of these gifts, especially men who do not fit into typical male gender norms, and/or those who have consciously eschewed those norms. If we look at heterosexual and bisexual men as a whole, however, we would not see this constellation of gifts as characteristic or typical.

Q: What about gay men’s shortcomings? Gay men can treat each other terribly.

A: It is too easy to levy critique against other gay men. We do this reflexively and to such an extent that we often fail to consider what is right about gay men. Loving ourselves is the hard work. One chapter in the book – Owning and Managing the Shadow – takes an honest look at our individual and collective responsibility to each other, and how we can do better. I believe that when we honor all of who we are, we will much more readily see the good in each other!

Q: Anything else you might like to share about your Gay Men of Wisdom Programs?

A: I find that the programs give language to what gay men already know about themselves. That’s their power. The work is all about living out these gifts!



About Us

Frog Meadow Farm Bed & Breakfast and Massage Oasis for Men is a welcoming, non-judgmental place for men of all colors and backgrounds to unwind and shed the trappings of busy modern life.

Situated on 63 beautiful & private acres, Frog Meadow frequently hosts men’s gatherings, workshops and retreats. Hosts Dave & Scott are committed to providing a welcoming environment to re-connect with nature and yourself.

The South RoomFrog Meadow is only 4 miles from the popular Rock River swimming hole, 10 miles from Brattleboro, VT and 30 minutes Mount Snow & Stratton Mountain ski resorts.

Relax in our spring-fed swimming pond, soak in our wood-fired hot tub, or enjoy our 4-season recreation trails and extensive perennial gardens and orchard!

Be sure to check out our special events calendarphoto galleriesrooms/lodging pages & lodging specials and discover all that gay-friendly Southern Vermont has to offer!

Frog Meadow Hot Tub

Click here to learn why Edge Boston calls Frog Meadow “Vermont’s Gay Oasis”

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